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Recovery From Addiction is Ongoing — Motivated by Fear pg184
Colorful companion to my memoir The Incompetent Psychic
Writing a fourth step (to list resentments and transgressions) helped a lot, but the Mom issues needed a little more creativity. I bought some clay. At that newly sober point of crazy all I saw in Mom was what I hated about myself. The mirror of Joan reflected a self-centered, selfish and inattentive woman whose social gracelessness and inappropriate comments alienated a lot of people. Joan embarrassed me over and over, and I saw in a clearer mirror that’s who I was as well.
The clay absorbed my fury, then pity, and left me with absolution. The last little mom was smoothed into shape holding a dripping paint roller. I could stop condemning her. When they were fired and painted I was able to see her as a human woman just trying to do her best. I could finally appreciate her admirable intentions and forgivable imperfections. It took a lot longer to do that for myself. — End of Chapter 9
The trek for a more sane (or at least manageable) life is ongoing. I trudge this planet and stare at the moon. At times I’ve entertained the inclination to find and spend time with a guru in India, but didn’t have the resources or opportunity. I have absorbed and envied stories by those who did… The Beatles, Elizabeth…
